On Becoming Human
by chocolatelova
Summary: Edward discovers why Lust’s desire to become human is so strong. [Spoilers for episode 46] [Oneshot] [Rated for mild language]


**Author's Note: **Set at the end of episode 46. Edward and Lust are heading to the factory where Tucker had lured Al, the Philosopher's Stone, to recreate his daughter.

* * *

**On Becoming Human**

The streets of the industrial district were completely deserted, and they were surrounded by the stern faces of factory buildings on either side. Edward Elric did not know the name of the town where he and Alphonse had escaped to as fugitives of the state, but that was the furthest thing from his mind at the moment. Right now, he had to save his little brother from that bastard Shou Tucker, who Edward was sure had tricked Al into recreating the daughter he had lost as a result of his own selfishness. He didn't know what would happen if anyone tried to use the Philosopher's Stone, but that was exactly what he was afraid of. And to top it all off, he found himself cooperating with a Homunculus who had tried to kill both him and Al on numerous occasions. She had probably killed Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, as well. He gritted his teeth in fury and his hand tightened around the bejeweled locket entwined around his fingers in his pants pocket.

Edward walked a short distance behind the voluptuous Homunculus who called herself Lust. True to her name, she wore a dark green strapless dress that dipped so low in the front that it left little to the imagination. Her hands were adorned with long evening gloves with maroon circular markings, the origins of her deadly claws. In the middle of her chest was a splash of scarlet, a circular tattoo of a winged snake eating its own tail with a small six-point star in the center. It was the mark of the Ouroboros, which clearly labeled her as a Homunculus to those who were aware such creatures even existed.

Even though he knew that Lust wasn't going to kill him, at least not yet, he kept his distance. It was hard to forget the fear and loathing he had developed for all Homunculi in the past few months. Especially his feelings about this one, who had hounded them from the start and nearly ended his brother's life.

"The only way to stop her," Lust said, at length, "is to seal her."

She was talking about Sloth. Edward folded his arms across his chest and studied the cracks in the sidewalk passing under his feet as they walked. Well-oiled joints moved silently as he unconsciously flexed his automail fingers open and closed. Sloth, the Homunculus he and Al had created in exchange for two limbs and a body. The soulless imitation of their mother. The monster who was after his brother. Their sin.

"I'll draw the seal, then. I saw the one in Dante's house when I killed Greed."

"Let me do it," Lust said. Edward looked up in surprise. "It will need to be carved into the ground. Otherwise, Sloth will be able to wash it away."

That was a good thought, but… He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. "How do you know what a Homunculus Seal looks like? Did you create the one at Dante's house?"

"Don't be a fool," Lust snapped. "That would be like signing my own death warrant."

"Then why do it now?"

"Because Sloth believes _that person _will make us human with the Philosopher's Stone. But now…" Lust's voice, normally cool and smooth as satin, dropped lower and was filled with an emotion Edward could not identify. "Now I know that she never intended to make us human in the first place."

"But I never said I would, either."

"You never said you wouldn't."

That was true, but he found himself unable to openly deny her request. It was not that he was afraid she might turn on him if he refused; she might do that in the end, anyway. Maybe it was because he knew what it was like to sacrifice everything for something that might never happen. Or, strangely enough, maybe it was because she seemed the most human out of the Homunculi. She reminded him of someone. Who was it, now? A face, a pale face with pince-nez dark glasses and saw-edged teeth bared in an arrogant smirk. That same face with the same teeth bared in a grimace that twisted the lips into thin, colorless lines as blood dripped off Edward's automail blade. Greed. The first person—no, _Homunculus_—Edward had ever killed. Greed had done what he wanted and died for his rebellion. Edward shivered. "My objective is to give Al back his human body," he said finally, resolutely. "That's all. You can do whatever you want with the Philosopher's Stone when we're finished with it."

Lust did not answer. They walked on without speaking.

"_I didn't promise to make you human!" Edward had yelled as he ran after her._

_The sound of heels clicking against the pavement ceased as Lust halted. "Why?" she had asked, simply._

"'_Why?' I should be the one asking that question! Why do you want to become human?" he had demanded. "You're immortal and you don't age, and you seem to have a lot of fun living. So why do you want to become human?"_

_She had turned to look at him, her eyes filled with great sadness—something he had never expected to see in a soulless creature like her. "You say such cruel things. Then why do you want to return your brother to his original body?"_

_He had never thought about why; it just had to be done. There was no why or why not. But he did not like what she was implying._

"_It's the same thing," she had said, and calmly continued on her way._

But it wasn't the same thing. After all, Al had been human from the start, so wanting to return him to his human body made sense. But Lust looked and sounded like any other human—minus the tattoo and the strange red circles—and had more advantages to boot. And as long as she kept her freakishly long fingernails sheathed, no one would be the wiser. Why did she want to become human so desperately, then? To the point where she would betray another Homunculus and even the person they all obeyed and feared? Edward still did not understand.

"Why do you want to become human?" he asked again. "You still haven't answered my question."

"Because I am not human. Isn't that enough?"

"But where does this desire come from? Why is it so strong that you can take the lives of those you want to become without a second thought?"

"We are born as the result of a human transmutation that has failed. If the transmutation had succeeded, we would be human. But instead, we are the halfway byproducts, the embodiment of that failure. Becoming human is what we were meant to achieve. It is what drives us. It is what defines us."

Her words seemed to make sense, but there was still something missing. "What I don't understand is what makes you Homunculi so different from us. You practically _are_ human, except that you possess immortal bodies. There are people who would kill, sell their souls, do anything to achieve that."

Lust stopped walking and fanned the fingers of her right hand with the palm facing her. Razor-sharp claws sprung from her fingertips like the spines of a poisonous plant, and Edward stumbled away from her. He grasped the chain of the locket and pulled it out halfway, ready for any sign of treachery. Then, as suddenly as they appeared, the knifelike claws withdrew. "Can normal human beings do that?" she asked without looking at him.

"That's just your body. We don't have normal bodies, either. I have a fake arm and leg, and Al is an empty suit of armor, but we're still human."

"You have a childhood, and you have a family. Homunculi have neither."

Edward felt a peculiar sensation of tightness in his chest, the same feeling he had when she had looked at him with those eyes of tragic longing. Could he be feeling…pity? He realized with a start that she had begun walking again without waiting for him, and he had to trot to catch up.

"But there are plenty of people out there with no family, and even some with no memories." It was a stretch, he knew, but that didn't make what he said any less true.

"Do you remember our little meeting in the 5th laboratory?"

His mind flashed back to the memory of the room whose walls glowed crimson, and Lust, her pale face stretched into a smug smile, holding the point of her finger against his brother's blood seal. Any sympathy he might have felt for her disappeared faster than a candle flame in a gale. "Of course I remember," he growled. "How the hell do you expect me to forget?

"Why didn't you create the Philosopher's Stone back then?"

"Because hundreds of people would have died! I'm not a bloodthirsty monster like you people!"

"But if you had, your brother would be back to normal by now. They were only prisoners."

Edward clenched his hands into fists as if he could fight away the memory of having been only a moment of hesitation away from becoming a mass murderer. "He wouldn't have wanted that! He _didn't _want that!" Then, more quietly, he added, "I didn't want that, either, when it came down it. Other people shouldn't suffer just so we can get what we want."

"You have a conscience, then."

"So what's your point? Do you think you'll suddenly have a conscience if you become human?"

"Maybe. But that is not the point."

Edward was getting fed up with her evasive answers. "Then what is the point, dammit!"

By then, they had reached the factory at the outskirts of town. Someone had already opened the large metal sliding doors, and Edward could see dust-covered tables and hulking machinery in the building's dim interior. Lust stopped at the threshold and turned to the side, not quite looking at him, before speaking.

"Full Metal boy…would you die for your little brother?"

Suspecting some trick, Edward narrowed his eyes at her and almost made an angry retort, but something in the way she asked the question held him back. Instead, he said, "Of course. I would do anything for him."

"Humans are able to love each other, and they know what it is like to be loved. But nobody loves a Homunculus." Her voice dropped almost to a whisper. "No one would die for a Homunculus, if they knew what we really are."

Edward looked at a pebble lying on the ground in front of him. His fingers loosened from the chain of the locket.

"Come," Lust said. She extended her index finger, thin and spear-like, her manner once again calm and self-assured. "Let us not waste anymore time. We have work to do."

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A caveat: As one reviewer astutely pointed out, Scar did take a lot of bullets for Lust in Lior. But I believe he did that instinctively because she resembled his brother's girlfriend (who Scar might have been in love with, but it's a little confusing from the Japanese subs). He already knows that bullets won't kill her, and he knows what she is and what she is not. He didn't shield Lust because he loved her, but because of what she represented—the memory of his brother and a time when life was happier. 


End file.
